NEW JERSEY: Calling All Birth Mothers..., February 1, 2008

RESPECT LIFE TODAY
February 1, 2008

Calling all birth mothers…
2/1/2008 by Lois Rogers


LAWRENCEVILLE - Now that the ongoing effort to open up adoptee birth records has heated up again in the legislature, it's only natural to turn to the New Jersey Catholic Conference for insight and information.

Marlene Lao-Collins is the director of social concerns for the New Jersey Catholic Conference and Patrick R. Brannigan is executive director. They have a real gift for putting complex societal issues into a context everyone can understand.

Talk to them on this particular subject, and it's immediately clear why they are the go-to-guys. It's a highly charged, emotional issue but Lao-Collins and Brannigan see both sides, spell them out and ask people to get involved.

"There are two sides of this story," Lao-Collins said Jan. 28, four days after a Senate panel voted overwhelmingly to release a measure that would allow people access to their original birth certificates.

As it stands now, the measure in question - S611 - would miss the mark, said Brannigan and Lao-Collins. They are pressing for amendments that include an enhanced mutual consent registry system which would link birth parents and adult adopted persons when (both) parties have requested and consented to reunions.

The New Jersey Catholic Conference doesn't oppose adoptees having full access to their birth parents' medical histories or revealing the identities of natural parents who consent to the release of the information; but doing so without consent is "simply wrong and unfair." That's what Brannigan told the Senate panel when he testified on the subject Jan. 24.

"The assurance of secrecy regarding the identity of the natural parents enables them to place the child for adoption with a reputable agency, with the knowledge that their actions and motivations will not become public knowledge," Brannigan testified. "Assured of this privacy by the State, the natural parents are free to move on and attempt to rebuild their lives after what must be a traumatic and emotionally tormenting episode in their lives."

The adoptive parents, he noted, also have an interest in having the birth records under seal. "They have taken into their home a child whom they will regard as their own and whom they will love and raise as an integral part of their family unit."

As a close friend of couples who have adopted children in good faith and embraced them as their own, I understand those concerns. As the friend of several adult adoptees, I understand their desire to know their origins.

It's a situation that begs for a Solomon.

Now Solomon, as we all know, relied on the testimony of the mother to render a verdict. And that's precisely who Lao-Collins would like to hear from.

"I would love it if birth moms, birth parents would call me about this. We would keep their information confidential but we know that the stories they tell are compelling and would have an impact.

"We fully understand that adopted persons have compelling, passionate reasons for wanting the records open but we can work this out and we can do it in a way that respects the dignity of both.

"We need to give birth parents the choice of whether they wish to be contacted. We need to do all we can to truly lift up the dignity of both sides."

Reach her at 609-989-1120, ext. 15.

Lois Rogers is features editor at The Monitor. She is available at lroger@dioceseoftrenton.org

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